This picture says a lot about the relationship between art and my life. Im not a person with a lot of boundaries between the things in my life. I think most peoples lives are like a pie graph, mine would just be a circle. I wanted this way, it feels more comfortable for me. I starting thinking about how the staff at church is continually surrounded by the things most important in their lives. They don’t have to go somewhere to earn a living that only allows them to be some part of who they are. The work they do, its gratifying because they are emotionally invested. The job they do is a blessing to every other part of there lives. It makes them better fathers, husbands, wives , and whatever else they do. The stress of being a nurse used to spill over into other parts of my life and make being the person I wanted to be harder. When you have a job dont you don’t have the option to cut off someone that is crushing your soul. (the story of the last job I had). It would be on my mind more and more, that I wanted one world, I want to be able to be who I wanted to be all the time. I painted a few large pieces for church and my daughter was with me, my husband would come and go, my son would play next to me. I knew that is what I wanted all the time. It was truly obvious that I thrive in my own world. I used to have my studio in an extra bed room upstairs. I didnt like going in there. I never painted in that room I sat there a lot, but it felt like solitary confinement. I was concerned about the way my home would look if I didnt keep all my junk away from the main living area. Eventually we did move my studio down stairs, in the dinning room which is off the kitchen. (its an open floor plan) My son was a toddler and he and my daughter had a place in my studio. I was happy, the noise of my kids, Jonah running in and out it was heaven. So, now I always feel connected to God, my work sometimes reflects that, even if you dont know it, my family there is , and my art. Im still trying to get it all organized , time, productivity etc.
Art is no longer a choice for me, it is again a part of what keeps me sane. It wasnt always that way. I had completely cut art out of my life for a long time. I have never mastered the ability to have a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Its always all or nothing. I do everything with all I have. Thats why its gotta be good. I was never able to sit on the fence with my faith. Either I abandoned it and did what I wanted, or it influenced every breath I take. Its another reason why everything had to be integrated, or nothing would reflect the best of me.
Those 3 things are always circulating in my head, God , art, family, life , God, family, around and around. The thought of me not doing what I do, is like someone saying you cant be you.
If there is one thing that I want everyone to know about being a professional artist. Its the hardest job I have ever done. But the most gratifiying . Kind of like being a mom. Its hard work but I love it. My art supplies follow behind me like bread crumbs. The most challenging aspect of everything being a part of everything else , is time management. It has to stay balanced all the time. If not something is always suffering.
What role does being creative have in your life? I know that probably no ones is as extreme as mine .. I created a world around my many issues and personality. More on that later.